16 January 2015

10 Things I Learned While Dog Sitting

I'm back! I've spent the past week dog sitting, so I wanted to parade around the cute dogs I've been spending my time with. I like to think that I learned some ...

is that my hair ah they're getting a

haircut here right hi everybody I'm Joe Roth and this week I've been dog sitting in Santa Monica this is scribbles he's two and a half and he's a poodle Lhasa Apso mix and this little munchkin has pins she's about to turn one and she's a poodle Chihuahua mix they are without a doubt irrefutably the cutest little things in the entire world and don't tell them but they can also be giant now I know I've only been with them for a week but there are a lot of things that happen when you live with dogs here a ten anthropomorphism I know I sound like a crazy person but I talk to them as if they understand me all the time hi babes hi I miss you too I miss you too pansy hi fresh boobies hmm James are you doing I just sat down what what are you looking at what you're so cute with your fluffy fur base and your little floppy feet oh you are cute come here loves me I'm gonna cuddle you like a baby I promise you you're comfortable you just don't know it yet no look at me look at me yeah chewing these dogs chew especially the puppy like I can't leave any of my stuff out or else they just

rip it apart like look at my shoes hold on do you see the last loop that these laces are supposed to go to because I don't oh look I found one fecal habituation I have reached an uncomfortable level of comfort around dog food I pick it up at least like three to four times a day yeah I'm not going to film that leash Zen it's hard enough walking one dog at a time try doing it with two all right let's go let's go you just have to reach a certain level of Nirvana while walking with leashes just intertwined in your legs sleeplessness yeah sleeping in has become a thing of the past oh oh that's my balls oh sudden chronic lateness all of a sudden I'm late to everything here's why hey I just got a I need to feed the dog so I leave in like ten minutes baby hi baby oh so close early rebels get over here hovering where you going where you going no come here love me who's ready for no no he's ready go for a walk you guys already go for a walk but I miss this cruise longer boof only thing I'm gonna miss you did I forget to leave

toys for them I'm coming babies copies hi babes hey babies are you doing oh what's this what's this who was it first who wants a purse good on the go look what else it down oh my god oh my god give it give it to me sorry the dogs got emotional when I left so I'm leaving now I'll be there really soon acceptance of one's strengths and faults I've come to learn that every creature has its strengths tip yeah good girl scripts sit down down scripts good boy and it's false pimps ah doing the ball pimsy go get k9 word vomit not only do I talk to these dogs all the time I talk about these dogs all the time and we took him down to the pier yesterday and pencils being so ridiculous like she kept pulling on her leash trying to say hello to every single doctor was it was so difficult cause she and Scripps have such different personalities like Scripps doesn't like big dogs but he was hauling oh my god love me too every single dog out there and so she kept pulling and pulling and I was like silence a phobia so I'm so used to hearing these little jingles of their dog tags that I have come to have like a

morbid fear of silence it's frightening hey buddy here's your sister oh she better not be taking a selfie overload for all those times I'm not talking about the dogs I spend the rest of the time taking pictures with those dogs so that everybody knows how damn cute they are well spending time with these low pups has taught me a lot about life responsibility and unconditional love even if sometimes they drive me to drink Oh scribbles you're fat oh I'm having a lot of fun and I'm gonna miss these little boogers once I'm gone I don't know what do you think cheers bitches