18 April 2018

My 2 Big Tips On How I Really Stayed Positive Through Cancer

"Stay Positive!" they all say! What does that even mean?? This is how I stayed positive, what worked for me, if it works for you too then that would be fantastic!

Hi there! Louisa here! I wanted to come in today because I had a bit of a

perception shift the other day we do because I'm doing all these workshops I get to speak to a lot of ladies all going all through my age go through the same thing having the same cancers having the same treatments and one lady just really sort of woke me up the other day we normally start to talk about all sorts and it's all always it's always fine so he's lovely to speak to everybody and we were saying how how the cancer has affected us mentally and I was saying, well I'm stronger for it definitely because I know what I'm made of I know that I can beat that I know how important that positive attitude is things like that I feel stronger for it what could have been my utterly worst year ever it was totally my biggest year of growth and I'm almost grateful for it happening it was a massive wake-up call for me and my life has changed completely for the better to be honest it's really been a wake-up call in a way of changing those toxic thoughts eating properly getting out more learning loads of stuff just completely re shifted and refocused everything and she said I just don't see it that way she said I it was like it's broken her. And I was like "Whaaat? How can you? She, you've beaten it, you're through it you're out the other side how can you feel broken by it and it just completely woke me up to the fact of how different I am how different someone can see the effects and cats he normally rubs on my orchids and snaps the flowers off. He's been going in the neighbor's houses sorry Brian and Anna! And now I've got my own little pet I've got my pet rabbit who runs around the garden and he, the cat, has taught the rabbit how to use the cat flap and now the rabbits just come in the house but madness please forgot what I was saying now so yeah how differently some people can take the same experience how differently it can be taken and so I wanted so share with you now cuz I did a video I'm staying positive way back and that was when I was just coming into it all didn't know really what was coming what was gonna work and cats falling over and so I would really wanted to redo another video just say what did work for me so one of the things I named was so good for me I even named my whens website up

after it was the eye of my storm so basically when all the craziness is going on around you find that quiet inside it because those emotions and those thoughts those fears if you're scared that it's gonna beat you you're worried do you're not sort of strong enough all those nasty dark thoughts that come through they're not you they're just thoughts they're just emotions and they pass by it's like being in a convertible car with a car with a roof down when all the winds going past and everything's so loud you can't even talk to each other because it's so noisy stop put the roof up and go again and all that wind goes past you roll your windows up see those emotions going past but don't let them in notice them acknowledge them go yeah this is really scary yes this is way past my comfort zone yeah I don't know what's gonna happen I don't know what's coming but let it go by don't let it attach to you don't get caught up in it don't let it drag you down it's just an emotion it's just an a thought a thought you are bigger than that that is not you and you can just let them glide by watch them be mindful it's called being in the moment being in the now notice what is around you right now so practice mindfulness has loads of stuff online about being mindful but just sort of being present having a cat here to stroke notice everything that's around you and listen to what's going on feel when you're washing your hands feel your the water smell the soap feel how the water feels be present because that is the only thing that is real right now any of these emotions that are coming toward you and flying around you are just passing thoughts they're not real and they're projections of what people have put on you, movies that put in you movies of fake people going through awfulness not you it's not your story let it pass only what's happening right now is your story and except that being one of the biggest things you can do is just accept what is going on and move through that so the day before surgery I was because I went in the night before because I didn't want to get up early which meant you get the whole night on your own beforehand to think and that was a bit mad so luckily I had this I found the eye of my storm that night I just let it

all go past wasn't me it's not not letting those emotions attached because they're not helpful right now they they'll be raising your stress hormones which doesn't help anything they'll be you just need to be as calm as you can be having getting all het up and worried and scared and everything doesn't help them now it doesn't help you right now so let it pass let it go easy to say I know but just take deep breaths get in the moment what is happening right now work out what you're you're not projecting any sort of fears in on you not projecting into the future what could be because that's not in your control my biggest thing was my positive when people say all stay positive it's such an empty thing to say it's it's difficult to do it's just like something for people to say stay positive and they're like what does that even mean I don't know what you're talking about really but what I take it's mean as now is that you're holding on to a positive picture of what you want the outcome to be so for me this looking at myself in this camera right now this is exactly where I expected to be now there was no other way that this was going to turn out there was no way that this was gonna play out in any other way I was diagnosed in the end of May diagnosed in the third beginning of May nearly a year ago um in chemo the end of May by about July August I had mapped this out I would I would have done I completely knew that I would be working for this charity. KNEW IT! And I am I completely knew I would have been standing up on stage at the convention that got me diagnosed in the first place do I tell you that story it's a nice story I put a link in actually because the charity mentioned it um link below so I went to a convention sort of thing about how to start and grow your own business online for entrepreneurs and then the founder of the charity I now work for stood up said what the charity does gave me that which thoroughly gave me the confidence to go get checked get diagnosed and get on with it really so I from last like last July I knew I would be standing up on that stage speaking about my experience I didn't know them I don't know him there was no way for that to have

happened I didn't know it the owner on that level I didn't know anything like that but in my head my crazy kooky brain that was a reality me sitting here completely healthy through it on the other side unscathed fine completely a reality that was utterly my image of what was gonna be happening and there was no quiver, there was no shakiness there was "Oh what if that happens?" there was nothing this is totally what I expected to become I knew I would be doing the after-dinner speech at the charity ball I knew I'd be speaking there and then I thought of that once I did that I was like oh maybe that was it I thought I was silent my brain was like you said you'd be speaking at the convention and my brain was like yeah maybe I'd confused that with the ball no I spoke at the convention as well I did both we did both I wanted to prove to you that this works the other day because I tried to film it and then I nearly crashed so I thought I'd better not but if I just prove what a mental picture a positive mental picture can create is that if I need to get somewhere like if I'm late for a train and I need to park I did the same at the hospital I was late for a hospital appointment I needed to park immediately and get straight through the door because I was late so from the time I get in my car at home I picture very clearly what the parking space is that I want every time and by time I get there I'm picturing it the whole way there I know it's gonna be you're open my parking space the one right by the station door next to the paying machines I don't have time to run to a pay machine and get back I want that space and by time I got there it was free unbelievably the next the second time I went to the station late again I'm always a bit late I cut I run things a little close to that wire um second time I got there I was like oh my gosh my space isn't free how dare they they know who I am? um but I looked round in the space right behind it was free so normally that one or one around it will be free I did it at the hospital I went past and just as I got there I let a car out in front of me I was being nice and I let the car in front of me go round and then my space I pictured the car backed out of it and

drove off they were holding my space for me and then the car in front of me took my space space! That was the one I was picturing exactly that one so I wanted to just film that the other day to prove how a positive image of how things are going to turn out is utterly true but then I nearly crashed I was really late so I couldn't film it so next time I am gonna prove to you I'm gonna show you that happening because it's really cool so yeah I just really wanted to add some meat to the bones of staying positive how to get through keep your mind in the right place as you're going through this journey because it is so important but I shall see you next one my spoken for so long my clicker has gone to sleep I'll have to do it manually with my my arm still not quite right see we'll get there I'll do my exercises see you in the next one take care